Killer secrets

KILLLER SECRETS

Much of what the Bible has to say about secrets tells us to keep them. If a friend shares a sacred secret with others, he's not much of a friend.

As Solomon says,
[Proverbs 11:13] He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets,
But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

And obviously, nobody wants to be a talebearer!

While completely affirming the wisdom of Scripture, I have other concerns on my mind about secrets. And at the risk of overstatement, I'll say it as bluntly as I know how:

Secrets kill.

Too many times I've seen the murderous power of secrets.

Of course I'll grant that there are "secrets" and then there are "SECRETS." Keeping mum about a surprise birthday party is one thing. Keeping mum about the present you've purchased for a good friend until the time is right - no problem.

But there is another kind of secret that eats at the soul of the person who holds it.

Once, on the opening spot of the old TV sitcom Cheers, Dr. Frasier Crane and Woody were talking about some stresses in Woody’s life. As we know, Dr. Crane was a psycho-therapist. He was encouraging Woody to express his anxieties and worries, to talk about them, to open up about them. That was a new thought for Woody. He responded by explaining how he dealt with his inner anxieties and the pressures he felt. “Dr. Crane, back where I come from, the way we deal with problems is we keep them all inside. See, there is this little place inside each one of us where we can stuff our problems, and we just keep on stuffing them all inside. And when that little place is all filled up we just keep stuffing our problems and worries in there.” After this little speech, Woody turns back toward the bar. Dr. Crane looks at the ever-present Norm and says, “Tick, tick, tick, tick - BOOM.”
I’m writing to destroy the “stuff-it” strategy and to urge a secret-free life.

I honestly don’t know how I would have made it this far in life if I had not been blessed with a few friends through the years who have listened as I have told them my secrets.

The freedom to unburden my own heart of secrets has been one of the greatest gifts the Holy Spirit has given me. Secret sharing has diffused internal pressure, brought relief, helped me gain perspective, breathed hope into my soul, and blown wind into my sails.

If I were the Grand Potentate of My World (or even, Yertle the Turtle like, “the ruler of all that I see”), I would mandate that every person have a friend worthy of secret-bearing.

I would further mandate that no one suffer through a devastating loss alone, that no one endure a marriage crisis alone, that no one hide a secret addition, that no one cry himself or herself to sleep, night after night, for want of someone to hear their secrets.

Alas, since I am neither the Grand Potentate of anything or Yertle, I’ll simply urge that you take another cue from the Bible. Look for the friend with whom you can share your deepest secrets.

That kind of a friend is a lifesaver.

[Proverbs 18:24] A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.